~Is Being Shy A Bad Thing?~

by Tiffany
(Alabama)

Hey… (My friend doesn’t get me any gifts)

I’ve had this question on my mind for a while and I just had to ask. See I'm in High School and I'm dating this guy.

He's really sweet, funny, and is kinda very shy. I've known him since the 5th grade, and we have been close friends ever since and now we're dating, but he's never seen to be shy till now.

I'm not trying to sound mean or greedy or anything, but my boyfriend doesn't buy me anything. I have other friends that are dating these other guys and their boyfriends have bought them like promise rings or necklaces or even a pair of earrings from them, but I haven't gotten anything thing from mine.

I would buy him something, but I afraid I won't get anything back. Aren't the guys suppose to buy the girl something first then the girl can give a gift back? I'm really not trying to sound greedy at all, but its kinda upsetting to see my friends with all these sweet gifts from their boyfriends and I don't have anything.

I've dated two guys like this and both of them are the same...giftless. I mean every girl would want to have a guy that buys them things, goes to movies together, and out to eat and so on and so on.

Do I just have bad luck or something I don't know why I keep getting guys that are shy or don't want to get embarrassed in front of their guy friends for buying gifts. I don't know. Any Suggestions???

Reply:

It is quite normal the guy gets some presents for her girl. It’s sort of cute. A lot depends on personality. Some guys just don’t get it.
Perhaps, you’ll tell him how your girlfriend’s got a nice promise ring (or else) from her boyfriend.
Also a guy ‘X’ took your other girlfriend to movies (or took her to McDonalds).

Just do it gently. Give him a hint or two. Do not be pushy. You may mention one day what you would like to have (some cheap thing you like).
And wait what happens when you have your birthday.

Guys sometimes need someone to give them a direction. It is in their personality. Most like to give.
Some don’t realise something like that exists.

I would say you just came across the last breed. :-)

Try and see what happens.
Maybe he is shy and afraid to make decisions (what to buy you). Once you express your wishes
in an inconspicuous manner it is likely he will get it.

If it all fails, there is nothing wrong if you buy him a cheap ‘thing’. It may help him to realize the value of attention.

You don’t need to worry if he buys or not for you something in return. Then it would be called greediness (calculative person) which you are not.

These things you do from heart. Not for expectations if you’ll get something in return.
Your boyfriend is most likely inexperienced and he is lost about ‘what to do’. He is happy he’s got a girlfriend and he is not able to work out, yet many aspects of it.

He will mature one day :-)