I need advice. Please help (Virginity)

by Katherine
(Georgia)

Hi....I have one problem..I live in country when it's too important to be virgin before marriage so my parents can't imagine how I can lose my virginity. I am virgin but I wanna lose it, so bad.

I think about it all the time, sometimes I just can’t take it anymore..but then I recall my mom which will kill me if she'll figure out that I’m not virgin.. so I wanna know what to do...

How can I hide from my parents that I'm not virgin? Please reply, please help.

Reply:

Nobody can tell if you are virgin or not, unless you, or your partner tell others you had sex.
Hymen is not a sure indicator if you still are.

Some girls have no visible hymen or it breaks by itself during hard physical activity, horse riding or similar.

The only person who knows you are not a virgin anymore is you and your partner. So it requires only not telling others. You mom has no other way find out.

Read also Average Age to Lose Virginity (opens new window) where there is more information on it.

Comments for
I need advice. Please help (Virginity)

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So scared
by: Anonymous

Hi I'm in the same boat my mum said she is gonna take me to a doc to check if I'm a virgin or not before I turn 21 and she said if I'm not she wants nothing to do with me is it possible for them to find out and if I'm not sexual active for a whole year will they be able to tell if I am or not...pls help I'm 20


Reply:

Firstly, a doctor can't release any information to your mom without your permission.
It has to do with medical ethics and your doctor would be in big trouble for that.
Said in other words, no doctor would risk it.

And second, she/he has no means to confirm if you are a virgin or not. There are girls with an unnoticeable hymen and a doctor doesn't know the difference.

Third, I doubt your mom would do it, people don't do these things. Most likely she is trying to scare you.
Even if you had a sexual intercourse today a doctor can't confirm if you are a virgin or not (if he didn't ejaculate inside you).

Keep relaxed. If your mom will mention it again, smile and politely tell her you would do with a regular exam anyway...
That will put her at ease.
thanks
by: Anonymous

Thank you very very much for support and advices. You really really helped me :) now I know that my parents aren't problem and now it's my own decision but now I have to think about my future cuz I know most of the guys doesn't want NOT-VIRGIN girls as their wife, so I have to think carefully what will happen if I'll lose it. Thanks again.. Very very much.

Reply:

Most welcomed. It really depends on the country you live in. In some they don't care about virginity at all.
Your thinking is right and responsible.
That is what it counts, that's what is important.

You will make a great wife one day (providing you'll find a right guy).

If to stay a virgin or not is entirely up to you.
One more question
by: Anonymous

by Katherine
(Georgia)

Thanks for reply you really really helped me but what if I'll have stomach ache or some other problems which sometimes causes losing virginity, and what if I'll need a doctor ...and wouldn't doctor tell mom that I'm not anymore? cuz I'm 16 and I'm not able to go to the doctor by myself, at least I don't have MY OWN money

Reply:

It is unlikely you'll get any problems such as a stomach ache. The most important thing is not getting pregnant. That means protection.

A doctor would not know if you lost your virginity or not unless you tell her. And even though she would know, she is not allowed to pass any medical information about you unless you'll agree to it.
Doctors are bound by ethics and they could lose their licence to practice. That would be the end of their job; they can't afford to make that sort of a mistake.

If you had a problem such as stomach ache, that is most likely not related to sexual activity. If you'll get some vaginal infection or develop other problem you don?t have to tell the doctor you had sex. A woman may have a vaginal yeast infection and it doesn?t mean she had to have sex.

In life anything may happen. You can become pregnant or else. It is not possible to play absolutely safe and have everything perfect. There are always risks involved in everything we do in our lives.
What is important that we do what we think is good for us. By doing nothing our lives would be same.

It is upon everyone to make his/her own decisions what she/he wants to achieve and do. To make a choice. Nobody else can do it for you. And sometimes you'll win, sometimes you'll lose.
That's life and it is unpredictable. With no guarantees.

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